I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
