And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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