i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
