I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
last night I used snow as a chaser
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
