I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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