You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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