if only i could text you this smell
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
