so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
