My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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