I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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