What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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