ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
