I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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