Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why are your pants in the freezer?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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