At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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