ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize