Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
