New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
