i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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