so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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