how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
