I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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