I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
