A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
