Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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