actually, I'm a sock model
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize