All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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