just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
