plz talk dirty to me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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