Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
