My nipple is on Facebook.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
