one might say we're banned from that church
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize