I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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