oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
