so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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