Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
