Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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