if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
