Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
