I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
