Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
be right there i have to get my cape
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
