I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
