I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
