I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
