Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
