why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
