talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
