I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
