even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
