Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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