is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
