i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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