is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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