It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize