How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
