i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
