I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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