I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
