is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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