If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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