he wants to bone in the snuggie
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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