On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
3 2 1 whiskey
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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