Joe is yelling at the trees again.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sorry my hands just texted you
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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