we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
