Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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