Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
