u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I want to stick my p in your. b.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
