I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
