Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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