doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize