Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize