He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
