The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
