My brain says no but my pants say off.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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