so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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