What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
